Love, Relationships and Romance
A 4 Week Class beginning mid-January 2012. (details on dates are to come)
Okay ya'll . . . we are going to start the New Year with a wonderful and much needed class on Love, Relationships, and Romance. A lot of us have really struggled in the area of romance. If you are married, you are bumping up against issues with your spouse regarding money, kids, sex, emotional availability, connection, communication and so forth. Some of you have contemplated separating or divorce.
If you're single, you can't wait till Mr.or Ms.Right shows up. I have to say, that is the number one question I get asked the most . . . "Will I ever meet someone?" You have a deep longing and ache to be in partnership with another human being. While it is in our nature to be in all kinds of wonderful relationships, there is a major breakdown that happens when we enter a romantic relationship.
"We have thoroughly romanticized the idea of falling in love. We hope that falling in love will magically rescue us from all our problems, without any real effort on our part. The truth about about falling in love is much less romantic than the myth, but if we honestly examine the truth, we can avoid the inevitable pain of "falling out" of love." Real Love ~ Greg Baer, M.D.
When you're single you have this incredible picture of how you want your romantic life to be. You visualize it. You write about it. You do a dream board on it. You make a list of all the perfect qualities you want in a partner. You talk about it with your friends. You use the law of attraction. And you just know that when they finally show up . . . you will be happy! But until then, you define yourself as a person who doesn't have a special someone.
And then that magical day arrives and you meet someone, fall in love and maybe you get married. A few months later, another day comes and you realize that special someone no longer looks like the person on the dream board.
They look more like a wart on a frog's nose. And if they would just do what you have asked them to do around the house, or quit nagging you about how much money you spend, or pick up after themselves, everything would be just fine!!!
Can you see a bit of a pattern here . . . the focus is all directed towards someone else rather than you. In this thought system, you are never at home or connected to the Love inside you. When your focus is on someone else as either being the cause of your misery or the savior who makes you whole, you disconnect from the depth and rich desires of your heart. You are operating from a deficit rather than full-filledness and that will perpetuate a constant feeling of disappointment and stagnation.
Whether you are in a committed relationship or single, it is vitally important that you understand who you are spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. The desires of your heart and the depth of your spirit need your attention and love more than your spouse does . . . . or anybody else for that matter.
Many single people are unhappy because they perceive themselves as being alone. Married people or those in a committed relationship are frustrated because they are convinced that their partner is the problem. When you go about your life wanting someone else to make your life more peaceful, more loving or more fulfilling, essentially you are living from the space that drove you into relationship in the first place - loneliness, lack, and fantasy. That is a very painful way to live.
By no means am I suggesting that your partner doesn't have a significant role in your life. Or, that you just give up on the desire for intimate relationship. No! Not at all!!! What is necessary to look at is your "why" for this relationship or your desire for it. If you want to experience romance in a way that is of Holy communion, you have to really get down about what you are responsible for and whether or not you are putting it off onto your partner.
Discovering your "why" can expose the root causes for your discontentment, frustration and loneliness. When you can really own that . . . really take full responsibility for those feelings and not make it about your significant other or lack of, you are on your way to experiencing Love and ecstasy in a way you have never known before.
The key is to understand that when you do join with another and you have those wonderful feelings, it's still not about the other person . . . you are experiencing the essence of who you truly are! All of the love you are experiencing is in you. Having the other person to join with only magnifys what is already there and to me, that is the sole purpose and foundation of romantic relationship.
I have three objectives I want to achieve in this class:
1. If you are single, I want this class to help you move out of the fantasy of believing that someone else will bring you the joy and completion that you feel is missing in your life.
2. If you are married, I want to help you shift out of the perception that your partner is the problem and into a place of responsibility for your own empowerment and enlightenment.
3. It is very easy to think that we have to be perfect and get all of wounds healed up before we can enjoy our romantic relationships. I don't think that is the case. Whether you are in romantic relationship or not, I want this class to be a stepping stone to you becoming more intimate with
you - so whether you are single or committed, you can keep a real sense of who you are and how you want to navigate your life freely and without the fear of being alone.
Class 1 - "Opening up the can of worms"
We are going to delve into your belief system about love and romance. You will be taking a thorough inventory of how you were loved by your parents or care givers, what you did to get love from your parents or care givers and how you witnessed your parents or care givers love each other. This step is crucial in shining a spotlight on what is going on in your sub-conscious that keeps you repeating patterns, habits and behavior that all lead to emptiness and longing.
Class 2 - "Now is the time for responsibility and forgiveness"
In this class you will be looking at how you "get" love, how you "protect" yourself from getting hurt, and why you run when your relationships become too intimate. And I'm not just talking about sex, although we will take a look at that as well. But I'm also talking about expressing real, authentic communication. Are you willing to be seen, flaws and all?? We will be looking at issues of past break ups, divorce and your overall dating experience.
Class 3 - "Becoming intimate with you"
This class is about you learning how to approach intimate relationships as a spiritual journey into your own heart. It's about you being able to recognize and connect with the truth about yourself. This is the time when you will be able to really let go of those patterns and beliefs and redefine how you show up in your marriage, current relationship or on the dating scene (or what is keeping you from the dating scene)
Class 4 - "Being your authentic self in romance"
This class is the culmination of recognizing our wounds, allowing them to be healed and making room for our real truth to be expressed - with no apologies, justifications or the need to sugar coat it so that we don't sound too insensitive. We discover how to stand in our own power, taking full responsibility for all that we feel and experience and give our partner(s), past or present, the respect to do the same. .
Details:
This class will meet for four consecutive weeks beginning mid-January.
Date: TBA
Time: 6:30 pm - 8:30 pm
Where: My office, 5926 Balcones #212
Cost: $135 (this will include all handouts, worksheets and materials needed for homework between classes.) Also, if you sign up with your spouse or significant other, there is a 10% discount.
R.S.V.P: please call 968 -2644 or email me at jayne@jayneclark.com to reserve your spot.
What You Need To Bring: We will be using the book Real Love by Greg Baer, M.D as a study guide. This will be very helpful to you as we go through the class.